The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
