This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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