We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
