Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
