did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize