I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we have officially lost it.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
