i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
