Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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