I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
