Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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