I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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