She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
