so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
