this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
