i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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