You're completely useless in the revolution.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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