sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
