why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
