yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
