So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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