he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
