Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Even my vagina gasped.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
