i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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