It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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