why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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