i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
