I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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