why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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