And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
