you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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