Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
