a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
