I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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