it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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