her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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