hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
