summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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