Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize