Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
