Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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