He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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