under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Someone signed my nipple.
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