How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
