Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
