lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
