he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
