So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize