I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
