it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
