This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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