he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Vodka?
Forever.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
