This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
