So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
