after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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