how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
