My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
