so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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