I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
