You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
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Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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