we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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