Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
