We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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