He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
did you just send me my own nude
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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