and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
