either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
