i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You need a sexual gate keeper
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk