I think i peed on brittanys purse
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!