Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.