um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism