how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?